Is it Okay to be Selfish?

When Caregiving takes more from you than you can give, is it okay to be Selfish?

Self Care must be a priority in Care Giving!

There is a very important safety announcement heard before each flight departure.  It’s actually an important life lesson.   “… in case of a unscheduled landing, oxygen masks will release from the ceiling. Please place the oxygen mask on your face before placing it on a child, or on an infirmed or elderly person.”

Logically we know the reason why we should do this. However, our internal voice … our sense of duty for caring … speaks to us and tells us to take care of others first, especially those less able than ourselves. Our thoughts of‘what is right or wrong’ and ‘judging and being judged’ can and often diminishes our reasoning.  How about those times that we just stop thinking and become automatic in reacting to what ever crisis is at the top of the pile in the moment? What happens to the caregivers?

Caregivers expend energy constantly. They give energy to those in great need and those usually without their own positive energy.  A caregiver’s energy is only replaced when they institute self care. They need to take responsibility for their own well-being and monitor their energy reservoir. Caregivers are unable to function at their best, or possibly in any productive manner, if they aren’t cognizant of the right to care for themselves first and foremost.

There will always be situations that reflect how we operate in the world and glimpses of who we aspire to become.

It’s healthy to want to be more in the world and in our life. We may want to be more expressive, more compassionate, to be more skillful at diffusing emotions, more calm in presenting a point of view or (easier said than done) more balanced and grounded while we face and accompany those in crisis. We may want to experience being more powerful and productive in our personal and professional life.

When we own our choice to be more… opportunities are present to develop and practice an array of personal and professional tools.  Tools assist us on our path. Tools change a life journey from “out of control” to deliberate and creative. Tools of self care empower us so that we can achieve being more – being more of the person that we desire to be in all situations.

Every day we have occasions to expand our capabilities and live up to our potential.

The moment we allow our unfocused or negative thoughts to take charge of our actions, we lose our free will to interact in the world as “who we want to be” and we fall victim to “what the world around us dictates”.

Institute self care tools and reinforce your positive thoughts.  Validate and honor your good feelings. Let go of self-judgment and have certainty that you are doing your best.  Nurture a sense of calm and self-confidence. Build energies and allow mind and feelings to be connected to the person that you want to be in the world.

Perfect your self care personal and professional tools; put your health and well being first and be who you are meant to be.

Researcher proves that an open heart leads to a fulfilling life.

I am always challenging myself to find innovative ways to reach people and communicate what I do to be of service for self discovery.

Most of us are in hiding each and every day from something that takes us away from being fully present in each moment and in our relationships.

On a subconscious level we look for people and situations that validate our negative feelings. It’s our justifications that keep us from being hurt and vulnerable. However, this behavior actually prevents us from attaining the one thing that we all want; To love and be loved for who we really are.

I can date myself by mentioning the movie “The Big Chill” when Jeff Goldblum, the writer, declares “Don’t knock rationalization. Where would we be without it? I don’t know anyone who’d get through the day without 2 or 3 juicy rationalizations. They are more important than sex! Have you ever gone a week without a rationalization?”Don’t knock rationalization. Where would we be without it? I don’t know anyone who’d get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations.

Self talk is Hypnosis and it is obviously more rewarding to use positive self talk than negative self talk.  Somatic Healing, Self Acceptance Training are self actualizing tools to heal yourself and create the “you” that you want to be withoutyour own internal judgment or fear of being judged by others.

Please take 20 minutes to watch this enlightening video. As you listen to this researcher with an open heart, you will discover something important about yourself.  Allow yourself to think about what you can do to create the life that you want.  Maybe I can help.

Change our selves or wait and be “fixed”?

Becoming Better People: Ownership of Our Daily Process and its Direction. Change our selves or wait and be “fixed”?

Each moment of the day holds an opportunity to consider ourselves potent and progressive.  So, do we perceive ourselves being our best when listening to our thoughts?

When we wake up in the morning are our thoughts about appreciation for waking up to a new day?

Do we perceive ourselves to be able-minded and mobile?

Do think of appreciation towards ourselves, partners, parents or children for being sheltered and sustained?

What is the framework that we use to think about people in our lives that care about us or people that we care about?

How was our thinking framework created?

Unless a specific situation arises comes to our mind, we aren’t starting our day with positive thoughts. Why don’t we have a belief system that relies on positive thoughts?

We’ve been taught to blame. We’ve been taught to be defensive and make excuses for not reaching our goals or expectations.

Then we sit in our unhappiness wanting everything or everyone around us to “fix” us.

If we charted how many times a day we blamed something outside ourselves for something that went ‘wrong’, it would be in the hundreds.

We blame the alarm for waking us up when we are still tired. We blame the cold or heat for being cranky; we blame our loved ones for not understanding us and not excusing our “bad behavior”.

Life would be great, if only…

Why is it that we aren’t happy to just “be…”?

Is it pre-destined?  No, Change is our responsibility.

Positivity is our gift.

As conscientious human beings, searching for groundedness and the ability to maintain balance in our day, we owe each other and ourselves the action of training our minds to be positive. Thereby initiating change one mind and good feeling at a time.

First thoughts are usually about the alarm going off and not being ready to get out of bed or about the “to do” list that didn’t get done from the day before or maybe having to do things today that you don’t want to do at all.

When we change thoughts from negative observations or suggestions to a positive outlook, we change the energy of who we are in the moment.

We were trained by our environment to expect the worst and protect our selves. Rather, it is up to us to learn how to think in a positive manner and harness our energy to create positive daily outcomes.

We walk around thinking things around us need to be fixed or the people in our lives need to be fixed. Nothing needs to be fixed. We just need to be aware of how we perceive,  judge and expect the world to be and look at each moment and action in a different way, in a positive way.  We need to take responsibility for what we do to our selves and change our belief that others should be held responsible for what befalls us.

Each of us can be held accountable for changing our environment, the people in our lives and our world, into something better.

Reframe your life: Think, Feel and Act Your Best.

Posted in Behavior    | Tagged behavior, fixed, thoughts    | Leave a comment
Add Grace to your Life with Optimism
Posted on January 16, 2012 by admin

We can all use a “pick me up” during the day. Make yours powerful with positive words and then positive actions are an easyfollow through.

Consider that we are made up of energy and water. If our energy is constantly being injected with positivity then we can always experience the rewards of any and all life events. We can eliminate our self imposed dramas and be our own hero; defining our opportunity for growth and then creating a solution which moves us forward in a successful manner.

All communication is powerful. The most impactful communication we can have is the dialogue with our higher consciousness.  We can limit the “voice” that taunts, depicting our liabilities.  However, if we commit to focusing on our belief of self confidence and satisfaction then we would be doubly rewarded with quantifiable success and with the awareness that every moment reveals a gift, an opportunity to learn how to better ourselves.

Maintaining a perspective in optimism will highlight gifts that are your innate abilities. Enjoy being you and being the best at it!